Ok this is gonna be a really depressing journal ya'll. 3 years ago today Jonathan Brandis commited suicide. For those of you who don't know Jonathan, he was an actor that starred in movies like Ladybugs, Neverending Story II, The Year that Trembled, and many more. He was also well known for his role in SeaQuest DSV.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a SeaQuest fanatic. I used to watch this show with my brother and I still watch it today. Somehow this show made my life better. Its hard to explain in a journal but needless to say when I had a hard time, SeaQuest was the "place" I'd fall back to. My safe haven. Sounds stupid but its true

I remember where I was and what I was doing when I heard the news of Jonathans death. I remember my friend telling me he passed away and it hitting me like a ton of bricks and when I found out how he died I honestly can say that it broke my heart.

So this is the 3 year anv. and it started off bad and got to horrible. I made a memorial vid for Jonathan and tried to post it on youtube. it didn't work so I deleted it and tried it again. It said it was uploaded and then my computer fell and now is broken. I found out it the vid didn't load and its possible I lost everything on my harddrive. Then I cut my hand on a CD and it doesn't want to stop bleeding. this day is just a bad day.
Nothing is going right and I am an emotional wreck from this day already.