Ok so I noticed that I don't really use my journal all that much probably because when I bitch about stuff now I just go to and so I decided just to put up this one with my other web pages incase people are interested in seeing my other crap I have on the net XD

Youtube:

[link]

My Space:

[link]

Stop by and let me know what you think XD

Be Safe Everyone

Ok this is gonna be a really depressing journal ya'll. 3 years ago today Jonathan Brandis commited suicide. For those of you who don't know Jonathan, he was an actor that starred in movies like Ladybugs, Neverending Story II, The Year that Trembled, and many more. He was also well known for his role in SeaQuest DSV.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a SeaQuest fanatic. I used to watch this show with my brother and I still watch it today. Somehow this show made my life better. Its hard to explain in a journal but needless to say when I had a hard time, SeaQuest was the "place" I'd fall back to. My safe haven. Sounds stupid but its true

I remember where I was and what I was doing when I heard the news of Jonathans death. I remember my friend telling me he passed away and it hitting me like a ton of bricks and when I found out how he died I honestly can say that it broke my heart.

So this is the 3 year anv. and it started off bad and got to horrible. I made a memorial vid for Jonathan and tried to post it on youtube. it didn't work so I deleted it and tried it again. It said it was uploaded and then my computer fell and now is broken. I found out it the vid didn't load and its possible I lost everything on my harddrive. Then I cut my hand on a CD and it doesn't want to stop bleeding. this day is just a bad day.
Nothing is going right and I am an emotional wreck from this day already.

Oh my god am I tired, but for some weird ass reason I am sitting here unable to sleep watching Harry Potter 4 for the third time tonight. So I figured I would mess around on my page for a bit change some stuff and I noticed that I haven't updated my journal since last month so what the hell.
I finished summer classes about a week ago, I got a B in Algebra and an A in my WWII class, honestly I am just glad I was done. Of course the REAL semster starts this coming thursday and I am already starting to feel the pressue from being LAE president this year WTF was I thinking.

This past week has been busy EMS wise I have been on 3 calls and I wasn't even on duty, but I am SSSOOOOOO praying for a quiet weekend it doesn't help our number one a day thingy but still, is it so bad to want to relax a little bit before everything gets crazy again. Its been kinda of stressful this past month one of our techs had a miscarriage and our A.D, hurt his leg so we've been short on techs so yeah more hours and calls even when we're not on duty.

On a more happy and exciting note next weekend I am going to this Anime Con in Wichita with a few friends. I have never been into anime all that much but I;m going more to spend time with the people I care about. to y'all if your reading this, you know who you are. I am losing my mind.

I haven't done much art work cuz I haven't really been motivated. Other than TAE's sexy Pirate picture Arrggh I have been doing more music vids than anything and a lot of those don't get posted cuz they're pretty shitty.
holy shit its nearly three in the morning!!!!!!!! Well I got be on shift in 3 hours so I will talk to y'all later

I started my new summer class last week, Intermediate Algebra. It totally sux we meet everyday at 8 in the morning for two hours for the next four weeks. I don't know if I can do this. It makes my brain hurt nad I am so tired all the time. Friday I was so exhausted I was actually seeing things that weren't there 0_0 it was totally freaky. And what really ticks me off is the real reason I signed up for the 8 am class was because I was gonna take it with my friend. But it turns out she didn't have enough money to pay for it and couldn't tell me until after I already started the class then she tells me she got married on the 5 of July ( she didn't tell any of her friends) when she told me the wedding wasn't til October. After everything that her friends have done to help her through all the shit her parents did and she cuts us out of her life. fine.

Work got interesting the other night when we had an out of town transfer, the senior EMT called me and asked me to take the town with our A.D. ( assiant Director) and him and his partner for the night would take the call. I was totally cool with that since I was signed up for back up anyway, But he called me back and said I was to take the town with a different emt because He had to take our AD since he couldn't find his partner. The guy was signed up for first out why the fuck wasn't he in town, oh Director is pissed I have never seen her like this, what if it was real call instead of a transfer. Our EMS is a voulnteer service so he asked for these days to work so he should been here. It worries the hell out me because I am on call with this weekend so far we've had no calls :knock on wood: and I really hope its quiet the rest of the day because I do not trust this guy and it doesn't help that he has a go-se personality. God I hope my director fires his ass cuz he's a ta-mah-duh

On a happy yet furstrated not I have been working on this musice vid with ksuno1 and wizard9s its turning out real awesome I am missing just one part and I can't seem to get the movie I need downloaded for this so now its on haitus which totally sux cuz its cool

Well I gotta go I have to take my History test still. Have a Great Week Everyone!!!!!

Mood: unimpressed
Listening to: Breathe me by Sia
Watching: Dukes of Hazzard 4th season

So its been like a long ass time since I've done anything on this site. But nothing has really happened thats worth talking about well till this past weekend.

I spent this past weekend with my family up at Wilson lake, even my brother and his wife came down. I was really excited when I found out that one of my friends from the Criminal Justice program was up there too( I'll call him A) . My brother being a goof started asking all these questions about A. I told him if he was that interested to call one of his coworkers and my friend about him because we went to school together.

To make this story slightly short, I was hanging out with A only to have my brother call me and tell me to "get my ass back to camp and stay the hell away from that kid" I was pissed. It turns out John got hold of our friend and he told him that A said the only reason he's been nice to me is cause he wants to get into my pants and thats why he keeps pressuring to go out and drink, he wants to get me drunk enough so he could have a chance.

Least to say I am very upset about this. A was one of the few people in class that I trusted and I still have to deal with him next year. God I hate boys sometimes. GGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

Okay so now that I vented hows everyone doing?
Oh before I go I started making some music vids and since I can't post them here I figured I would on youtube so if anyone is interested my name there is CSIwhistler, so look me up, I only have one vid up now but I'll have more later. Have a great weekend everyone